


The Truth in the Mirror

by Cerridwen



Category: Star Trek Into Darkness - Fandom, Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-21
Updated: 2016-12-21
Packaged: 2018-09-10 19:20:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,852
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8933146
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cerridwen/pseuds/Cerridwen
Summary: Kirk's excursion to Qo'noS to capture Khan has resulted in a war between the Empire and the Federation. Khan has been brought on board the Enterprise to help win the war. In return he and his crew will be freed at the end of it with a planet of their own under the supervision of the Federation.
During a lull in the fighting, Kirk and Khan have a conversion over coffee. It does not go as Kirk expected.





	

The observation lounge was empty save for Khan when Kirk walked in. He paused for a moment before going to the replicator to order two drinks. While unfortunately the replicator wouldn’t make alcoholic drinks (or at least Scotty claimed the ones he coaxed out of it were too terrible to mention) its coffee wasn’t bad and could be used as a conversation starter if nothing else.

Taking both cups Kirk walked over to the table where Khan was sitting watching the Andromeda Nebula move and twist in the observation window.

Putting one of the cups in front of Khan Kirk took the other chair.

Khan’s eyes slid to Kirk and dropped briefly to the steaming cup of coffee beside him. His eyebrow rose sardonically (and Kirk had to wonder at himself that he could ascribe that degree of emotion into one small movement). He wondered if Spock and Khan would ever have an eyebrow contest and almost choked on his coffee at the idea. Khan turned to look at him fully when he spluttered and gasped.

“Is there something the matter Captain?”

“No, nothing, it’s fine.” Kirk gasped, flushing a little.

“I wonder at the safety of drinking this coffee then. “ Khan quipped as he picked up the mug Kirk had given him.

“If even replicating coffee is a challenge for you it’s a miracle you are even still alive.”

“Spock and Bones say the same thing to me sometimes.” Kirk grinned at him. He was starting to learn Khan’s dry sense of humor.

“Seriously though the coffee’s fine. I was just thinking about something else at the wrong time, that’s all.” To prove his point Kirk took another drink of coffee.

Kirk turned back to the view screen and tried to order his thoughts.

“Do you always make coffee for your crew?” Khan asked.

“There are some that would say that such actions are beneath your rank.”

Kirk shook his head. “I was getting one for myself anyway, so why not? I thought you might like one. Besides, you know as well as I do that there’s really nothing that’s beneath a captain. We may sit in the chair but everyone who’s part of our crew comes first. In many ways you and I are the least of our crew not the first.”

Kirk met Khan’s eyes. “You know that.”

Khan’s nod was slight but Kirk saw it.

“You’ve grown Captain.”

“Dying does that to a person.” Kirk winced and wanted to curse. He hadn’t meant to bring that up.

“No.” Khan said shortly. He turned from the view screen to look straight at Kirk, his gaze piercing.

“It wasn’t the dying Kirk. It was facing your death and realizing that there was something more important than your own life, people whose lives meant more to you than your own.”

Khan’s gaze was relentless as he continued.

“Dr. McCoy told you that I gave him the knowledge of how to use my blood to save you in order to repay the debt of saving my crew. But that is not why I did it. My crew would never have been in danger if Mr. Spock had not betrayed me nor would the Enterprise have fallen if he hadn’t detonated the torpedoes. After going to all the trouble of crippling the ship in the first place I would not have allowed it to fall.”

Kirk opened his mouth to argue but Khan kept speaking.

“I did not save you to repay a debt. I owed you no further debt at that point Kirk. I saved you because you showed me that at heart you and I are not so different.” Khan’s gaze held Kirk’s pinioned and it seemed to Kirk as though they were peeling back every layer he had built up to defend himself. Khan saw straight to the very core of him and didn’t flinch from what he saw.

Khan’s deep voice held Kirk spell-bound and motionless.

“In the brig of the Enterprise, during our first encounter I told you that my crew was my family.”

“Is there anything you would not do for your family?” Kirk whispered along with the memory in his mind.

Khan nodded slowly.

“That’s why I saved you Kirk. Because you showed me that you understood what I asked you. And you understood that when it comes to the lives of those we love, there are no limits.”

Kirk stirred then, bringing himself out of the deep wells of Khan’s eyes.

“In some way you are right Khan. We are a lot alike but in other ways we’re not.”

“You went for total war when your crew was on the line. Thousands died in San Francisco and London all to avenge a crew of 72 people. You didn’t count those lives as being of any value. They were as nothing to you when compared to the lives of your crew. That’s the line Khan. I can understand your anger and your pain but you went too far. When you killed the innocent in your revenge you crossed a line I never would.” Kirk’s blue gaze was firm and strong.

Khan’s mouth curved into a mocking twist.

“Is that what you tell yourself so you can sleep at night Captain?” His gaze narrowed.

“Is that what you tell yourself every night that this war rages on, when more and more of the dead pile up? Do you tell yourself that you’re not responsible for them?”

“What are you talking about? I didn’t start the war. The Klingons did!”

“Yet in many ways your invasion of Qo’noS was the first strike that gave the Klingons the excuse to retaliate. Even if Marcus had been right in claiming that the Klingons were planning to attack, you were still the one who lit the fuse.”

“I wasn’t trying to! Spock said that area of Qo’noS was deserted! If that patrol hadn’t found us the Klingons would never have even known we were there!” Kirk exclaimed.

“I did everything I could to cover Starfleet’s involvement, the Konormian shuttle, the arms dealer disguises! And I wouldn’t even have gone there in the first place if it wasn’t for you! If you hadn’t attack Starfleet, if you hadn’t killed . . .” Kirk broke off, pain and grief ripping across his face.

“Pike. Your friend.” Khan spoke softly, sympathy and sorrow shadowing his face.

“If your friend was innocent of Marcus’ deeds then I truly regret his death Kirk. I never intended for the innocent to die any more than you intended to start a war.” Now pain twisted his face as he turned his gaze back to the view screen.

“I fled to Qo’noS because I believed that I had covered my trail. The odds of the transwarp beaming device surviving the destruction of the jumpship were extremely low and even if it did, if my primary goal of killing Marcus had succeeded, then Starfleet would have been paralyzed until a new chain of command could be appointed. But even if I had miscalculated, which is highly unlikely, still, not even you can claim that I forced you against your own free will to come after me.”

“Don’t give me that Khan!” Kirk exclaimed. “You attacked the commanding officers of Starfleet. That was an assassination attempt, plain and simple, don’t try to deny it.”

“I don’t deny it.” Khan said calmly.

“I told you. At the time I believed that Marcus had killed my entire crew, my family.” A shadow passed over his face, a remembered pain.

“So you responded in kind.” Kirk said softly as Khan’s words from the brig echoed in his mind.

“Yes.” Khan’s gaze was sharp as he locked eyes on Kirk again.

“See, that’s the part I don’t buy.” Kirk responded.

“You had to know that there would be some kind of retaliation and even if you did believe that you had covered your tracks it doesn’t make any sense that you didn’t calculate for a pursuit. You calculate everything Khan.”

“Kirk, if I wanted a war between your Federation and the Klingons I would have gone straight to their capital and I would not have gone empty handed. I would have brought the schematics of the Vengeance and my torpedoes as courting gifts. If I had just shown up with nothing to offer them except empty promises they would have tried to kill me on sight. The Klingons only respect brute force.”

“Yeah but . . .” Kirk fumbled.

“But I did not desire a war between them. Marcus did. Why would I give my enemy what he wanted? I have never desired war, least of all for its own sake. It is the ultimate expression of waste and stupidity. I have fought only when I’ve had to. And I have never struck first.”

“I didn’t desire war either!” protested Kirk.

“I never said you did Kirk.” Khan assured him.

“Yes you did, you as much as said that I started this war.”

 A smile that was both scornful and sympathetic curled Khan’s mouth.

“Oh Kirk. If war had been too high of a price for you to pay, you would never have set foot on Qo’nos in the first place.”

“You knew what the consequences would be if you were caught, but you’re a gambler.” Khan pointed out. “For all that you allow your Vulcan to calculate the odds and your doctor to lecture you on danger in the end you are far more likely to risk all on one throw of the dice.”

Khan paused for a moment before sliding the knife home.

“That is what you did on Qo’noS. You gambled and you lost. This war is the result.”

“I never meant to!” Kirk began angrily.

“No you didn’t.” Khan interrupted calmly. He sat still and poised, not a hair out of place. To Kirk he was like an ice statue, impossible to read or comprehend.

“No more than I intended to hit the city with the Vengeance. My target was Starfleet Headquarters not the city. But I still hit it and many innocent people died that I did not intend to. That was my mistake and I acknowledge and accept the burden of their deaths as I have had to do so, so many times during the years of my reign. As I accept the burden of my failure to protect my people from your Admiral Marcus and Starfleet. That is one of the burdens of leadership whether it be Captain or Prince, acknowledging and accepting the deaths we cause by our mistakes.”

Khan leaned forward and his gaze narrowed.

“Tell me Captain. Can you see and accept the weight of your burden now?”

For a long moment Kirk sat motionless, his eyes locked with Khan’s. Then he broke away and turned to stare at the view screen as his hands clenched into fists. He nodded once but did not speak.

Quietly Khan spoke. “Then I was right. You have grown Kirk.”

In the silence that followed the two men returned to staring at the shifting colors of the nebula. No more words were spoken that night.

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> follow me on tumblr at http://khantoelessar.tumblr.com/


End file.
